for now, i’ll increase the volume
a simple fix for heartsick thoughts.
but soon i’ll be stepping off this plane
to a place that has seen too many of our goodbyes.
I’ll imbrace someone who isnt you.
I’ll count down the exits, remembering every memory this horrible place holds.
i’ll fall asleep heavy hearted, in a bed that has witnessed the end of us.
i’ll wake up and secertly curse your absense…
But I’ll never let your name escape my lips.
I heard you that night,
when you whispered my name and waited for some type of response.
I was so lost in the illusion of ‘love’
that my heart wouldn’t let my voice whisper back.
We laid still that night,
when we should have opened our hearts.
This damn illusion of ‘love’ lasting forever
stopped any kind of..I love yous.. from leaving this broken heart.
She said she was there, with open arms, to welcome him home from a lonely battle.
Yesterday would have been 26 years since she’d seen him.
How her and my father survived that horrible time in beyond me.
When she finally arrives home, I hope she tells my father’s father, the man I’ve only met through photographs… that I miss him.
Only 9 days between a death that happened too soon and a life that began too early.
Some might think we missed each other, but I know he was there.
He’s there in my fathers eyes… when I ask for stories from long ago.
He’s there every time my grandmother takes my hand for prayer…
and he’ll be there, with open arms, to welcome her home.
This bottle took us to a time
when passion for each other filled our hearts
I remember the early hours of a morning long ago
when I found myself standing on your doorstep
wiping away tears and anxiously waiting
my heart was beating way too loudly for me to listen to any type of message it was sending.
It would take me 267 miles to reach you right now.
If I showed up tonight, wiping away more tears
would you greet me as you did before?
I hope not.
I hope you look at me like I’m crazy and tell me to turn right around.
According to others, it might be the smartest decision you’ll ever make.
We’ll just be another mystery of life we aren’t supposed to understand.
It took me about 3 seconds to realize this kiss is why best friends should never let it get this far.
You see, we end up taking mental notes on what our likes and dislikes are.
The way we like to be kissed and what spots to tease
knowing what to say.. at the exact moment I start to doubt this unexplainable night we’ve created.
I now know what your lips feel like on mine
and this mark.. very close to my heart.. knows what it feels like to be touched by yours.
Your finger tips press against my skin
just hard enough for my mind to take this a different direction.
This horrible decision was worth making because of that response.
Timing can be so cruel
if I could have cut that moment out and pasted it years before
I’d be shedding more smiles than tears.
We’ll dance and drink the night away
and before long… you’ll be staining my lips with your passion filled kiss
i’ll think to myself that your touch doesn’t feel like it used to
but your kiss will still weaken my soul
We’ll live for the night and nothing more
So you’ll fuck me
and I’ll fuck with your head
but that’s what we’ve always done best
So why fucking stop now
lies lies lies
we’ll do whatever it takes
to satisfy this fucking need
to fuck, to be fucked, and to fucking mess it up.
I would have told her to stop
if she made the move, she never made
but not right away, I would have let our lips touch just long enough
for it to be called anything but a decent kiss
and when she would ask why
in a seductive –I don’t want to stop- kind of way
I would have told her…
it’s just another memory to think of
on the lonely highways back home
and we’ve made enough of those
so lets leave well enough alone..
This is about the time
I slam on the breaks
And put this heart in reverse.
But the rhythm is off anyway
So I’ll ignore it and set the cruise
what’s a few more empty miles
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