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This is about the time
I slam on the breaks
And put this heart in reverse.
But the rhythm is off anyway
So I’ll ignore it and set the cruise
what’s a few more empty miles
I’m just the thrill of the chase
and you’re just the thrill of a kiss
so take your lost self and get far, far away
away from my head.. away from my heart
run as fast as you can.. before I catch up
…out of breath and wordless yet again
Stop making my heart beat so fast
…And can you tell me to breathe?
I seem to forget that simple task when I’m around you
Maybe you could even back up a little
Just enough to stop my lips from reaching yours
As long as we’re at it, stop looking into my eyes
Because that’s the worst fall of all…
The cover looked good enough… so I didn’t even care to read the summary. Not unlike my previous books- we flipped right to the end (climax and all). This book has taken years to finish. Every time I pick it up I can only get a chapter deep before this villain throws me into a downward spiral. So I place it back on the shelf, but it doesn’t take long for me to blow off the dust and get lost in this emotional rollercoaster some call a best seller. I’m becoming less and less intrigued by the cover and reading between the lines isn’t as fun as it used to be.
I’m tired of your fake lines
I dont need to know how good my skin feels against yours
I’m tired of your new outlook on life
It’s beyond hypocritical
Your eyes seemed so cold and empty as you spoke of my faults.
But your words didnt hurt as much as the look in your eye
You banned me from leaving my scent on your sheets
So i left my tears on your pillow
and with memories i’d rather forget…
As your tires hit the gravel road and the stars got brighter
My past regrets started to invade
If feelings could move in reverse
It would have been the perfect night
We sat and shared a mutual love
Washing it down with the exact substance that got us into this situation.
Refills were made and we talked as if we were lovers.
Like they never put a stop to us and rules were never made
I’m not sure if I like the new us
I look forward to the day
I can look at you and not get lost in your body
But for now, I’ll let these marks fade
As I curse my past mistakes.
Lines from Journal 2003-2006
But…He cried
I mean he really cried this time. He didn’t get out of bed for days. He literally got on his hands and knees and begged for me. He said he would change. He really means it this time; I could see it in his eyes. He even bought me flowers, made me dinner, and told me he loved me. He is really trying. He said he didn’t want to lose me. He said he was just ‘joking’ with the text messages. He didn’t really mean it. Look at all of the poems he wrote for me. He loves me.
________________________________________________
I might be out of place
But woman to woman
Lets be honest..
The poems will only last so long.
Trust me I have a box full of them.
After you get over the shock of tears falling from his face
You will realize they’re only as real as his promises.
Why do I even feel the need to reach out to you?
You have seen first hand him treating someone else the same way.
The secret letters, comments, and texts.
I mean, after all- you were the one receiving them.
But despite all the pain and anger this has caused me.
You should know..
There is life after him.
I love the idea of liking you forever.
But it hurts… to remind myself… that I’ll never be able to replace liking with loving.
It’s probably best if we don’t.
But I know
When all I feel your touch.
And all I see your smile.
I’ll forget
The pain I will soon feel in the morning.
When I lean over to kiss your body.
And realize that you’re still not mine.
What if… i made my mother happy.. and lived my life for her.
What if… i hadn’t turned my car around to end it.
What if… we lived in the same state.
What if… i had treated her better.
-I wouldn’t be happy
-I would hate my life
-I’d smile more
-I wouldn’t be so lost.
‘please slow it down.. all i wanna do is turn around’
this wont be easy… 13 days till goodbye.
we told ourselves it’s for the best.
a story book relationship… ending
i don’t want to stop falling for you… ‘but’
“there’s always a but”
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