No Other Love- Heart

I heard you that night,
when you whispered my name and waited for some type of response.
I was so lost in the illusion of ‘love’
that my heart wouldn’t let my voice whisper back.

We laid still that night,
when we should have opened our hearts.
This damn illusion of ‘love’ lasting forever
stopped any kind of..I love yous.. from leaving this broken heart.

Almost Lover- A Fine Frenzy

I would have told her to stop
if she made the move, she never made

but not right away, I would have let our lips touch just long enough
for it to be called anything but a decent kiss

and when she would ask why
in a seductive –I don’t want to stop- kind of way
I would have told her…
it’s just another memory to think of
on the lonely highways back home
and we’ve made enough of those
so lets leave well enough alone..

??

Lines from Journal 2003-2006

 

But…He cried

I mean he really cried this time. He didn’t get out of bed for days. He literally got on his hands and knees and begged for me. He said he would change. He really means it this time; I could see it in his eyes. He even bought me flowers, made me dinner, and told me he loved me. He is really trying. He said he didn’t want to lose me. He said he was just ‘joking’ with the text messages. He didn’t really mean it. Look at all of the poems he wrote for me. He loves me.  

________________________________________________

 

I might be out of place

But woman to woman

Lets be honest..

The poems will only last so long.

Trust me I have a box full of them.

After you get over the shock of tears falling from his face

You will realize they’re only as real as his promises.

Why do I even feel the need to reach out to you?

You have seen first hand him treating someone else the same way.

The secret letters, comments, and texts.

I mean, after all- you were the one receiving them.

 

But despite all the pain and anger this has caused me.

You should know..

There is life after him.

I Hate You

I hate you

For giving me hope that we could make my mothers fairytale lifestyle come true

I hate you

For betraying me for so many years.

I hate you

For saying ‘I love you’ too late.

I hate you

Because when I lost you, I also lost your/my family.

I loved you.

 

I hate you

For choosing her so many times.

I hate you

For making memories with me.

I hate you

For never going away.

I hate you

Because I was never enough

I loved you.

 

I hate

That you weren’t my first true love

I hate

That you weren’t my first sexually

I hate

that they took all of this away from us.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Out From Under- Britney Spears

Can we fall apart now?

I hope we fall…just like we fell..

If only it would happen that quickly

 

It’s getting easier

My heart didn’t race when I received your text

With every word I read about ‘them’

A little part of me drifts further away

Another piece of my heart goes to her

Soon she’ll have it all.

 

It’s almost been a year since we met

I can remember it so vividly

It’s as if I’m looking down on us

You walked through the kitchen door

I was standing by the sink

My eyes followed your every move

I envied you.

 

You were fighting with her that night

But back then she was just a name

There were no feelings of hatred when she was mentioned

You think by now you would have moved on

You’re so intelligent

But when it comes to her

It’s as if your plan fails every time.

 

Trust me; I know how hard it can be

Trying to fight that feeling…

When her fingertips softly touch your leg

Holding hands while making your way through a crowded room

Sitting at the beach lit only by the moon

 

I hope this time is different

I hope you realize who she really is

Because you’re worth so much more…

Dont play me hollow- Caitlin Crosby

The truth is…
If you said goodbye, it would break me

The truth is…
I feel so much like him right now, that it makes me sick
I guess now I understand a feeling I never thought I would 

The truth is…
I’m too far in to get out now.
I don’t know how you did it to her
I hope you’ll be my only regret when I die. 

The truth is…
We’ll never know what could have been
We’ll always look back and wonder
I hate playing you hollow
but at the same time.. I love it.

Hinder- Lost in the Sun

If you were this sincere 2 months ago…
This wouldn’t be happening.
But you weren’t, so I made a choice.
If she wasn’t here, I’d be yours.
If she wasn’t here, we’d be together
If she wasn’t here, you’d still be playing games

Nothing can prepare us for 14 days.
What will happen when we first set eyes on each other?
I hope my heart beats the same rhythm
That way, I’ll know I’m making the right choice.
That way, all of these questions will be answered.
That way, I won’t always live in regret.

The little things…

Little things can make a difference

Like whispers.. but that will forever be a secret.

I am not leaving you with hurtful words.

We will look back on ‘us’ and smile

Just like you wanted.

I’ll make sure of it.

The Spill Canvas- Connect The Dots

I love the idea of liking you forever.

But it hurts… to remind myself… that I’ll never be able to replace liking with loving.

It’s probably best if we don’t.

But I know

When all I feel your touch.

And all I see your smile.

I’ll forget

The pain I will soon feel in the morning.

When I lean over to kiss your body.

And realize that you’re still not mine.

</3

The tears falling from her face

Are because of me.

We talked about this day

And the possible reasons

This was never one of them

I never thought it would be me.

‘Just say its over and we’ll be done’

I couldn’t say it

I don’t think you can either