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for now, i’ll increase the volume
a simple fix for heartsick thoughts.
but soon i’ll be stepping off this plane
to a place that has seen too many of our goodbyes.
I’ll imbrace someone who isnt you.
I’ll count down the exits, remembering every memory this horrible place holds.
i’ll fall asleep heavy hearted, in a bed that has witnessed the end of us.
i’ll wake up and secertly curse your absense…
But I’ll never let your name escape my lips.
I heard you that night,
when you whispered my name and waited for some type of response.
I was so lost in the illusion of ‘love’
that my heart wouldn’t let my voice whisper back.
We laid still that night,
when we should have opened our hearts.
This damn illusion of ‘love’ lasting forever
stopped any kind of..I love yous.. from leaving this broken heart.
She said she was there, with open arms, to welcome him home from a lonely battle.
Yesterday would have been 26 years since she’d seen him.
How her and my father survived that horrible time in beyond me.
When she finally arrives home, I hope she tells my father’s father, the man I’ve only met through photographs… that I miss him.
Only 9 days between a death that happened too soon and a life that began too early.
Some might think we missed each other, but I know he was there.
He’s there in my fathers eyes… when I ask for stories from long ago.
He’s there every time my grandmother takes my hand for prayer…
and he’ll be there, with open arms, to welcome her home.
Stop making my heart beat so fast
…And can you tell me to breathe?
I seem to forget that simple task when I’m around you
Maybe you could even back up a little
Just enough to stop my lips from reaching yours
As long as we’re at it, stop looking into my eyes
Because that’s the worst fall of all…
So we’ll drink, playing it off as a typical Friday night out
We’ll throw back a few more than usual, hoping it lasts long into the night.
Our nervous bodies will soon dissipate
As I kiss everywhere but your lips
Trying not to smile as they make their way down your body
I’ll wait on your sighs to tell me its okay
To take this further
There won’t be any sleeping tonight
This has been years in the making.
We’ll pick up the pieces in the morning
Or maybe we’ll just leave them on the sheets
That way, we don’t have to make sense of this.
Tonight we’ll lay here as lovers
But when the sun comes up, we’ll awake as friends
I should be used to this by now
But your kiss tells me otherwise
So i’ll hold your body
As you shake in my arms
And seduce me with your whispers
….I wish this was just another one of my dreams
im tired, would be more fitting
im tired of checking your status
seeing it change to taken
i cant recall how many times i’ve seen you in my dreams
keeping every emotion inside of me for the past year has been unbearable
but really, there is no point in letting it out.
it wont change us, it wont put us in the same state
or even the same state of mind
we dont make sense
end of story
if only it were that easy
for my heart-to tell yours
it’s no longer beating for you
it’s no longer caring about you
emotionally insane, was very fitting.
If you want me
push me up against the wall
and kiss me
I’ll guide your hands where i want them to go
If you want me
give me inviting looks
let your eyes seduce me
and let your lips
leave their mark
above my chest
Her body is on top of mine, once again
But this time, it isn’t some late night fantasy
We latch on- mirroring the life saving device our very first night.
Our breaths sing a sweet lullaby as we hold each other tight
Our lips are soon inches apart, torture at its finest.
My hands are wandering; they’re out of my control
My finger tips caress her skin and a rush overcomes every part of my body.
Our lips meet and our tongues soon touch.
A sweet taste I thought was gone forever
As I lay her head on the pillow and begin to kiss her naked body
I realize it must stop here
Any further and hearts will get attached
As your tires hit the gravel road and the stars got brighter
My past regrets started to invade
If feelings could move in reverse
It would have been the perfect night
We sat and shared a mutual love
Washing it down with the exact substance that got us into this situation.
Refills were made and we talked as if we were lovers.
Like they never put a stop to us and rules were never made
I’m not sure if I like the new us
I look forward to the day
I can look at you and not get lost in your body
But for now, I’ll let these marks fade
As I curse my past mistakes.